Breezy Bandsawing

Breezy Bandsawing

Reasoning that I’d only be cutting small stuff in my basement shop, I parked my bandsaw diagonally in a corner. Then I decided to make one of those arched-top garden arbors. My old jig saw had burned out, so I took the two 5’ long cross beams down to the bandsaw. Everyone knows you can’t saw a 5’ piece of wood in a 4’ space, but I tried, anyway.

Backed into the corner, somehow I managed to get the first piece started. Unfortunately, cutting the curved shape pressed the board harder and harder against me. I sucked in my XXL gut and kept going. Those of you who have a waistline that’s bigger around than your butt know the story: As soon as I sucked in, my pants dropped down around my ankles. Like a trooper, I finished the cut. With all the noise, I didn’t notice my wife coming down the stairs. She smiled, “That stuff really turns you on, doesn’t it?” –Bob Enderle

Tipped Off

Having painstakingly built a dining table for my son and his fiancée, I had nightmares about driving screws through the finished top while attaching the extension glides for the leaves. So I carefully tested the screws, using a scrap piece from the top, to make sure they weren’t too long. I disassembled the table, packed it in my car, and transported it to the wedding, which was in California. Just before leaving, I threw in a couple of extra screws, to make sure that I had enough.

Later, while gathered in my son’s home to meet the new in-laws, I unpacked the table parts, turned the top over, and installed the slides. Everyone “oohed” appropriately as we tipped over the assembled table. Proudly, I reached across the top to brush off what appeared to be a shiny bit of wrapping paper—only to have my finger catch on a protruding screw tip! Argh! I hadn’t noticed that the extra screws I’d tossed in for reassurance were too long. Fortunately, with a bit of sanding and finishing, the hole virtually disappeared. –Phil Tiews