Axes: Better than a Company Gym

Axe throwing competitions are usually held at Agricultural shows here in Australia, usually between men and women,my nephew was Juniour World champion axeman at one stage, and was a pretty mean axe thrower only problem was he kept getting beat by women,says something doesn’t it?

Awe come-on throwing a double bit axe is too easy! Try throwing a tomahawk and split a playing card in the middle of the block , better yet try throwing 2 at a time – want to play for handles? Paul

They’d like this kind of idea over at Petersen’s publishing.

James,

My brother was in the Philippines When Mt. Pinatubo blew, on a destroyer. The cleanup took many days, and the whole time they were scrubbing ash the ship’s PA system played Jimmy Buffet’s "Volcano" song on an endless loop. He still has nightmares — about the song, not the volcano.

To: Christopher Schwarz, Editor
From: Riley Nofun, HR
RE: Throwing Axes by the Dumpster

Mr. Schwarz,

Our department gratefully acknowledges receipt of your memo dated February 19th, and after careful consideration has provided the following response.

Although our department constantly strives to provide a safe, healthy, and happy work environment at F+W Publications, and we encourage input from employees, such as yourself, to make the work environment even better,we regretfully must say no to the proposed Throwing Axe Range for several reasons.

First, metal helmets with horns are against the F+W Media dress code because of the possibility of eye injury to innocent bystanders. See the relevant section in the employee handbook labeled Acceptable Employee Dress, Ancient Scandinavian/Germanic for details.

Second, although we were intrigued by the idea of greater hand/eye coordination and the subsequent reduction in paper cut claims submitted to our work comp insurer, a quick review of OSHA safety requirements section 1910.266 indicates that this activity seems connected to the logging industry. Therefore, we have paid close attention to the safety guidelines associated with that industry and have found the most effective safety equipment available today for the proposed activity is this gear: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Maximilienne-p1000557.jpg. Because of the recent budget cuts, this gear would have to be provided by the employees; and we know how much your staff is paid.

Third, we’ve never forgiven you miscreants for the last time you flooded the building’s HVAC system with that noxious odor and caused us all to gag and retch. You KNEW that the windows don’t open in the rest of the building. (By the way, the popcorn and fish smells from the cafeteria have been part of our revenge!)

Fourth, a significant portion of our staff are charter members of Wives Against Schwarz. Nuf said on this point.

We appreciate you taking the time to bring the possibilities of an Axe Throwing Range to our attention and suggest you try getting in touch with these people on your own time: http://www.psychiatry.uc.edu/, or perhaps these people: http://www.evensens.net/sons/sons.html.

Sincerely,

Riley Nofun

Thought for sure you were going to slice open your rear end on the back swing. Nice throw!

Throwing tomahawks is a well attended activity at the local Boy Scout camp… something primeval about it for kids with cell phones, DX games and other gizmos growing from their hands. Seems appropriate for hand tool guys too.

Hey Chris,
You can’t beat a bit of axe throwing to relieve stress! Unfortunately I can only do it out at the father in laws farm as the local police have told me I shall be arrested for breach of the peace if anyone complains(I thought it was prudent to check & see if the practise was illegal before I commenced with the lobbing in my back garden,I live in the center of Edinburgh…)
Have fun!
Black